All of us will be faced with a decision at some point– Where do we want to relocate? And thus today’s reflection….
I had coffee with a well-read friend and he recommended that I should read a new book by Peter Kilborn, a former reporter for the NY Times called, “Next Stop, Reloville: Life Inside America’s New Rootless Professional Class”. I read an excerpt, a couple of reviews from major newspapers and also watched a video clip of an interview with Kilborn on Fox Business. Click “Fox Business” to link to this video. I am hoping that having really read the entire book, Mark will post a comment providing some additional revelations, but here’s the theme:
Kilborn coins a word “Relos” (REE-los) to describe the corporate gypsies, or middle class professionals who relocate every few years. At their core, he says, “is a faith in open horizons and a willingness to risk losing ground to gain ground. ( ) They are an affluent, hard-striving class. They inflate the American Dream and put it on wheels.” In the Fox video interview with Kilborn the interviewers even make the point that many “reloville” communities thrive because of this professional migration.
The thing that has me thinking though are comments like these: A Minneapolis Star Tribune writer comments: “In pursuit of power and influence, they lose the simple staples that generations of human beings have leaned on for meaning”. Another reviewer says – “A fascinating account of a new type of transient worker in America, affluent in their material lives but impoverished in their community ties.” The most depressing reviewer commented, “In this sympathetic and arresting portrait, Kilborn takes the Willy Lomans of the present age and weeps for them.” The Willy Lomans? Ouch. I’ve read “Death of a Salesman” and seen it on stages several times but never in my life figured I’d be him. Did you?
For some of you, you’ll transport your family to the new location, and develop a best-friends-at-work network, and continue to keep in contact with your colleagues across the U.S. and will probably be able to keep everyone including yourself from feeling isolated, adrift, disconnected, lost, and disassociated. For me – it’s just me. My son is in college and my parents are finally doing well in a retirement home so I’m free to “seek open horizons”. But I do need to figure out the cost-benefit equation. How do I make sure that what I’m doing doesn’t sacrifice creating a greater meaning for my life. I’m going to take a stab at answering this but your suggestions are welcome.
How Relos can lead a fulfilled life during their season of migration:
- Pick an employer who truly has a Mission you believe in and work that makes you feel energized and passionate
- Stay connected to your virtual family – for members of TS, just a quick nudge, that means all of you
- Make time to contribute your talents in the new city.
- Once per year, spend the money to join former colleagues at a spa (I’m sort of into this experience now), or an education seminar so you can reconnect.
Tell me what you you’ll do to create a smooth transition and make the new place feel like home….
Liz and I have “reloed” 9 times in 31 years of marriage. To some that is scary. To us it has been opportunity not just professional but personal. It has meant growth. The recent events of my serverence has underscored for me how superficial most of the “connections” with community have become. We found meaning in our communities if they addressed a need. Yes, we (ie Liz) was involved in schools and swim teams and dances and outings as the kids were growing up. We rolled up our sleeves and honestly gave more than the long timers in the community. But when it became apparent we were moving on, the “community” moved on. We became their blip in the screen. Yes, we do still keep contact (if the contact adds meaning) but we recognize what our meaning may or may not bring to the other party.
What I find refreshing in reading the book has been a validation of my feelings and a recognition that we are out there. That the concept of community is fluid and that the “relo” experience can be rich, fulfilling and exciting. And that most importantly, we are different and may never entirely “fit in ” to the traditional “Our Town”. For me, that’s a relief.
OK, I have to say that I, for one, intend to keep in touch with all of you. I mean really – we make all kinds of effort to succeed… work 70 hours a week, give up our personal lives, sacrifice time to pursue hobbies, all in the name of success. With that kind of ability to commit, shouldn’t we be able to commit to keeping in (close) contact with our friends that we’ve been through the ringer with? Or am I being naive??